The signs as Magnus Bane quotes

• Aries: "WHO DARES DISTURB MY REST?"
• Taurus: "There's no need to clarify my snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself."
• Gemini: "We seem to be trapped in an episode of One Life to Waste. It's all very dull."
• Cancer: "Come in. And try not to murder any of my guests."
• Leo: "I see that many pigeons have pooped upon these stairs."
• Virgo: "My dear lady, you cannot afford me, and also, please leave that horse alone."
• Libra: "You could dress it up with a sequined headband."
• Scorpio: "I have no interest in the world you want or in your doubtless repellent brat, I might add."
• Sagittarius: "The only person who gets to canoodle in my bedroom is my magnificent self."
• Capricorn: "I must counsel you not to exit the carriage while a demon-slaying is in progress."
• Aquarius: "You can kill yourself. As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't."
• Pisces: "I love round tables. They suit me so much better than square."