who you should fight: throne of glass edition

• celaena sardothien: do you have a death wish? seriously, she'll probably yawn as you try and fail to even get close enough to touch her and then knock you out with her pinky finger and still look good doing it. don't go there.
• chaol westfall: fight him. but befriend him first. he'll probably feel bad and go easy to let you win. heck, he probably won't even fight back at all. go for the face.
• dorian havilliard: why? why would you want to fight him? he gives people puppies. also, he'll probably just make you implode or something. steer clear.
• aedion ashryver: you should absolutely fight him. there'll be a lot of that male posturing at the beginning, mostly in the form of that weird cobra dance guys do to seem tough before a fight. he'll still probably beat you to a pulp, but at least the start of the fight will make you feel powerful and provide a good laugh to any spectators
• manon blackbeak: ABORT
• nehemia ytger: her last name kinda looks like a jumbled up tiger. that's a clue. don't do it, she'll shred you. also, she's a precious cinnamon roll, why would you fight her, what are you, a fucking sociopath?
• rowan whitethorn: probably not worth it, unless you have a thing for birds clawing your eyes out. also he'd probably just stare you down and that'd make you back down and that's just embarrassing for you. so yeah, maybe not such a great idea.
• archer finn: what an utterly cowardly deckchair. fight him. you'll 100% win if only because karma is on your side. beat that asshole. and say he's ugly, that'll probably make him cry. good.
• the king of adarlan: go for it. even if you fail you'll be celebrated as a martyr
• fleetfoot: ??????? SHE'S A PUPPY ????????